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How Couples can collaborate in Debt Repayment
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How Couples Can Team Up to Repay Debt
If you have brought debt into your relationship, then your partner can be your ally in achieving debt-free.
by Sara Rathner Senior Writer/Spokesperson | Travel rewards, credit cards and debt payments Sara Rathner is a NerdWallet travel and credit cards expert. She has appeared as a guest on "Today" show and the CNBC's "Nightly Business Report," she has also been featured on The New York Times, The Washington Post, The Wall Street Journal, Yahoo Finance, Time, Reuters, NBC News, Business Insider and MarketWatch. Before making the move to NerdWallet, Sara worked at The Motley Fool for nearly 10 years. She was also a personal finance writer freelance and paraplanner , and holds a bachelor's degree in journalism from Northwestern University.
Updated January 30, 2023 6:09AM PST
Edited by Kenley Young Assigning Editor Credit score, credit cards Kenley Young directs daily coverage of credit cards on NerdWallet. Previously, he was an editor of the homepage and digital content producer for Fox Sports, and before being a front-page editor at Yahoo. He has a wealth of experience in both digital and print media, with stints as a copy desk chief as well as a wire editor as well as an editor of the metro at The McClatchy Newspaper chain.
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Between helping financially his parents and losing their income because of the COVID-19 pandemic, Jeremy Mazza landed into serious . He received relief from a source that he wasn't anticipating: his wife, Ginna Lambert, who had come into a small inheritance. Ginna recommended "investing" part of her fortune into their shared future by lending small amounts to Mazza which he could use toward his obligations.
It took some convincing.
"To have to ask for money, even though I was the sole provider and had parents who themselves were soliciting money, I wasn't going to follow their lead and be taking," Mazza says. "But that's not what this wasabout, this was a caring thing."
Mazza and Lambert dealt with the issue through open communication and specific loan terms. And for them, it's making a difference: Mazza estimates his went up by 150 points. Their couple live in Richmond, Virginia, are getting married this year and are hoping to purchase an apartment soon too.
"I had a very, extremely, very strong interest in making sure my partner's credit score and finances were in the best of a condition as it was possible," Lambert says.
Although joint debt is a shared obligation but the individual debts that you bring into the relationship are yours to tackle. Still, they can get in the way of making plans for your life as a couple, and so it may make sense for your partner to assist you in tackling your debt in some way. Don't make any arrangement like this without a plan.
Be aware of your risk by reviewing the complete financial picture
It's crucial to be transparent to each other about your individual financial situations particularly as your relationship becomes more serious.
"If a couple is planning to tie the knot it's good to talk to each other prior to tying the knot," says Trina Patel who is a Los Angeles-based senior financial advice manager at Albert, a financial services company.
Set aside a few free money dates where you talk about what's going on for each of you. These conversations can aid you in establishing shared goals and determine the steps to take to achieve them, like adjusting your budget or finding ways to boost your income.
"Debt often triggers feelings of shame, guilt, and embarrassment leading couples to avoid discussing the amount of debt they have," said Leanne Rahn who is a financial advisor with Fiduciary Financial Advisors in Grand Rapids, Michigan, by email. "Vulnerability is a challenge, but keep in mind that you and your spouse are part of a team."
Look at non-monetary options to aid
You might not be able, or unwilling, to pay back your partner's debt. There are many options , however. You can be an accountability buddy, assist you rethink your budget for the family if you live together or figure out ways to save money with your spending.
Perhaps you can do some additional household chores to give your partner time to work on additional hours at work, or you can help them edit their resume to get a better paying job.
Discuss a financial arrangement
If you're comfortable gifting or lending money to your partner to pay off their debts, make sure you have all the details. Write down the dollar amount and then write everything down.
Lambert For instance, Lambert began by offering a 6-month loan that was interest free and costing $2,000 loan in exchange for Mazza. Over time, they both felt comfortable with additional, larger loans.
A consultation with an attorney regarding a contract can help both parties feel more at ease.
"A legally binding contract would definitely make the responsibilities of each spouse/significant other clear easy to understand, and the law would hold the parties to account," Rahn says.
Know when to say 'no'
It's okay not to share the financial burden of someone else regardless of how much you care about them. When your marriage is relatively new, or you're not sure the direction it's headed, you can still cheer on your partner while they pay off their debt.
And if your partner won't take your "no" as an answer, think about it an option and take your time.
"I wouldn't have offered this when we were in the honeymoon phase," Lambert says. "At the time we were already moving into a home together. He had proved repeatedly, that he was reliable."
This piece was written by NerdWallet and was first published through The Associated Press.
About the author: Sara Rathner is a NerdWallet credit and travel expert. She has appeared on the "Today" program, Nasdaq and CNBC's "Nightly Business Report."
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